LIVE before you DIE!!

Life is really really short! Reicko was the true definition of survivor!! He lived a life that wasn't all that easy but he ALWAYS smiled! He went to church WITH or WITHOUT anyone if he wanted to go he was GOING!! I am not saying he was perfect nor am I saying he was an angel, but he was a GOOD GUY!! People hate to say stuff like this but I don't, I don't even really care there are rapists and murderers all kind of trash on the earth, yet Reicko died! I was so devastated when I found out about it! I couldn't understand or begin to grasp why Reicko? It didn't make sense to me! I dare not question God so I was stuck trying to figure this out. I mean I really needed some kind of reasoning for why this had to happen. I continuously came up blank.

All I do know is everybody has a time, and no matter how hard you search you will not know the date, time, or even WHY? All you can do is live your life to the best of your ability! Once its over there is no go backs or do overs! Although I felt like Reicko had so much more life to live, I do feel like as he got older he loved his life a little bit more everyday! He was living and laughing enjoying himself! Everyday wasn't perfect but he wasn't regretting anything! Even when he died he left his mark and its a beautiful one! He left his everlasting smile and his stride to making a better life for the future!! I miss him so much, and I am  thankful to have met him!!

Life is real! You only have one! Smile more cry less! Live for you and make sure that you are always striving for a better you and a wonderful life!! Everyday will not be roses and smiles but we are still here for a reason! I myself have to remember that when I go to getting down about Reicko. God saw fit for me to have Reicko in my life for years and I am so blessed to have had a chance to know him! He left a mark in my world and in my heart! I will forever try and keep his memory alive and keep living for him, and my future!

I want to smile more and cry less! I will not take things so serious and start to concentrate on me more! I can't spend my life worrying about things I can't change!! I want to seek God's face and try and just have FUN!! Let my hair down and go for the goal!! I love you Reicko and I miss you sooo much!!

I know this birthday is beautiful because your in heaven with your Grandma, but I surely miss you down here! I will not take your memory for granted!! Smile more worry less!!

R.I.P. Reicko R. Jones :( TODAY is ALWAYS about you!!

Let Love Find A Way... {Titles}

The DILEMMA: He says "Be patient, I promise it's real." She says "give me a title or I'm OUT" Even if he's "Dream Guy, do I stay or let go?"

Whats in the title? I have been in relationships where we were soooo good, then when we gave it a title it went to hell. I've witnessed couples who were perfect as a "couple" but when they decided to take it to the next level and get married, "EVERYTHING CHANGED!!"

We tend to put labels on things for the outsiders looking in. Especially for other women we have to say we ARE something as a unit, just for the other girls not to have you and your life to gossip about. Its one thing to be happy but I don't think we always need a definition for everything, the best things in life aren't forced and they just go with the flow.

Me and My "him" were at our best when I wasn't worried about anything or anybody. At one point in time I started trying to define us and I was putting pressure on us to be more then what we were. When we were flowing we were happy, HAPPY HAPPY!! Then I started listening to those around me, digging for stuff that wasn't there putting unnecessary pressure on us almost ending us. Of course we found our way back, but I won't make that mistake again!!

Titles don't make or break anything! Who cares about the title more then likely the title puts you up to the worlds standards of where your "relationship" should be at. Go with your own flow, let the chips fall where they may. Knowing that you decided to do everything on your own in your world makes your situation even more better! Choosing to smile and separate yourself from the world is going to make the LOVE just that much better!

It's 2011 make your own rules! Take your own life into your own hands! I promise you title or no title as long as it's you and them against the world you will always be happy and REMAIN that way!!

xo :)

The LITTLE Things...

    I was on the phone with my boo, and of course she was complaining about a friend sending her some flowers! She HATES it with a passion to get flowers and stuff like that. Her theory is that the flowers will die so why waste your money? OK I get that, but me on the other hand I am whole different type of chick! The smaller the things, I feel like the effort was put in and thought and that's all that matters!!! For my boo to get me something because he wants Me to smile and think of him a little bit more means the WORLD to me! Makes me beyond happy!! I don't brag to no one else or anything I just walk past my "small thing" and smile!! :)

    I feel like theres so much love in thinking enough of me to get something you know I'd love just because! I used to be that girl, I used to think of my "honey" whenever I was out! Wanted to get him something just because I just KNEW he'd smile!! Somewhere along the line I guess I got comfortable and forgot about how much he would smile when I did the little things. We even had a conversation about it and he said I'm not that girl anymore, He'd come home and something new would be laid out or whatever. I guess I got complacent in just doing the norm. It made me sad to think I got comfortable and I am now working on it!!

   At the end of the day Wale said "New love is so beautiful, time just makes it ugly..." I think that about sums it up! We get good and complacent forgetting the small things leaving us to think that the love is no longer there...

*XO*

Love RIGHT, Love HARD, or {LOVE WRONG}

Last night I was on twitter, and I was talking about my cousin. I used to say he is the true definition of Male "WHORE!" But as I think about it more is he really that? We all have our own definitions of what a relationship is supposed to be like, but whose right and whose really wrong? Who are we to tell them if their right or wrong??

My cousin has a live in girlfriend that hes been with since I can remember at least 13 years. He loves her to death and will do anything for her. He has a side main chick also. I know your wondering what a side main chick is, so was I. 

A side main chick is someone that you love also, but for whatever reason you can't be with her. You treat her just like she's the only one for you and you sincerely care about her and want to have her in your life forever. He also said he tries to give her a lot of time and treats her special because he doesn't want her to CHEAT on him!! I said but your cheating and he said she knew my situation when she got in, she chose to stay so why cheat. We do everything except without the title! I DIED!!

Then there's the "f*ckables"!! That should be plenty self-explanatory.

While I don't really condone this, I really thought about it! He was so sincere when he was talking about his {Side Main Chick!} Although he may have meant well I just don't get how anyone could live with being the {Side Main Chick} for the rest of their lives. It would probably be one thing if she talked to other people or even made the attempt whenever she felt ready, but to just be fine with it forever? I don't knock anything anyone is doing, as I have truly done my FAIR SHARE of dirt but to really sit back and think on this I have to wonder if she really understands the situation? But then she's been doing it for 4 years now and is as happy as ever.


Her motto is just to be happy for right now! To live in the now and not worry about anything or anyone else but herself! She said he makes her heart smile and she is HAPPY living for today, because she doesn't even know if she is going to make it to see tomorrow! If she doesn't live to see another day she is happy right where she is! It may not be perfect for anyone else, but it's just perfect for her!

It gave me chills! To not worry about what anyone else thinks and to search for your own happiness, once you found it to hold onto it because your ultimately happy!!

Although I may not choose to live the rest of my life like that, I totally want to have that true content happiness! You only have one life!! Be happy!!

#PROFOUND

Matters of the {HEART} vs {LIE}...

Is there a difference in LIES? A simple little needless lie could mess up everything beautiful to you. A beautiful bond you have with someone can disappear after one lie! I lied to my "him"! I have no doubt he's lied to me before and I've witnessed it just never said anything. He has trust issues and although he may not have trusted me with everything, I feel like he did feel that I was the one important person in his life that he could trust more then most! Now I lied about something soooo small and he can't get it out of his head! I wish there was a way I could have a do over and just tell him the truth but I can't!!

There is so much about us that is wrong, I know it can't last forever but we were happy!! The closest to being happy I have ever been. So many people survive from lies and become bigger and better then ever, but we aren't most people. It bothers me to have put us in this position but we're here! I tried to make him trust me by saying it was so small and blah, blah, blah... But truth is I was wrong!!! It was a LIE! I tried to apologize but he has no reason to forgive me. The fact that I know I lied and his reaction to people who lie to him makes me know I gotta let go... I don't know if this would be Sabotage but I don't want him to wonder if every time I open my mouth I'm just lying! I don't want him to doubt me!

I honestly don't know what to do and I am tired of trying to wreck my brain. The right thing to do is to just let him go because I KNOW HIM!! I don't want the awkward feelings that's coming next. I don't wanna be afraid to even speak not knowing what he is thinking! But "MY HEART WON'T DO WHAT MY MIND TELL'S IT TO..."

Its so funny because I was just talking to him about how much better we are and with one sentence I ruined our progression, and I just can't go back to square 1!



Matters of the heart are ALWAYS the hardest!

I wish I could just know that he will forgive and forget, but its just not realistic...

#LIFE

Our own worst enemy... {Sabotage}

The definition of Sabotage is:




Sa*bo*tage ~ Delibritly destory, Damage, or Destruct (something).


The number 8 song on Wale's Ambition cd is called Sabotage. 

"

Said her hearts in a cage, Cuz if you never love, you can never hurt! Marinate"

There's so many women who can probably relate to this, but as usual I am only speaking for myself. My "Him" and Bestfriend both said they think of me when they heard this song. All over twitter the girls all said they can relate to this song. It speaks volumes!


Most women think with their hearts, we tend to dream of the fantasy of having that forever love. When we get with someone we start thinking if he is the one. They put their all in them and when it doesn't work out, their hurt and a little peice of them closes up. if it keeps happening its only a matter of time before they build the wall that is almost impossible to break down. 


When the right guy finally comes along we are so distracted by all the past hurts and pains that we push him away. So what to decide live alone, or let another in with the possiblilty of being hurt. Speaking for myself its soooo freakin hard!!


My "Him" has evolved so much there was a time when I wouldn't even begin to tell him when i was hurting or needed someone to talk to because he would tell me "its not that bad" or something of that nature that made me say forget it!! No more talking to him!! Now 2 years later he has opened up and so have I. The problem is that I ALWAYS tell him I am scared of him going back to the old him and he gets pissed, yet he always reassures me he's in this. I know eventually if i keep bringing up the old him its going to really piss him off and he is really going to revert. We HAVE to PUSH PASS THE PAIN and focus on HAPPINESS!!!


I guess the moral of the story is we can not let the past dictate our future, or we jeprodize never having a future!!


xo :)

Dying in the name of {LOVE...}

 
   Sooo I was watching Grey's Anatomy and there were two young adults on their both have multiple sclerosis. According to the show if both of them have Multiple Sclerosis they can't date because its only contagious between them. Loving each other will always keep them sick!!! The guy was up for new lungs but he had to choose between his love life or new lungs and he had to think about it. The doctor gave him an ultimatum and he went with the lungs. They knew he was going to go back to his girlfriend after he healed.

  I really thought about this what would i do? Would I leave what seems to be the love of my life, or would I leave him all together and try starting a new life without my "soul mate?" Being the chick that I am and how much LOVE impacts my world I would be devastated, but I'd choose life. I believe GOD does everything for a reason and the fact that loving him would kill me would be a sign from GOD that he is not my destiny!!

  Love is real, Love is strong, Love is HARD! True Love is worth dying for, but are you really supposed too? What if you made the decision and it was the wrong decision. Now you lost your love and your life!!

What do you think??

I'm Back {AMBITION}

     


     Wow its been a while!! I've come to the conclusion I NEED blogging! Its my sanity sometimes!! I was talking to my friend Lo'Real (MakemeupinHD) and I told her I was going to start a new blog and she said WHY?? Why not just use the same blog and go from there! So this is what I am doing getting back in the groove slowly but surely!! It won't be all about celebrities, it will be whatever mood I am...

   If I feel like talking about celebrities I will! Whatever I want to talk about thats what it's gone be! hopefully I'll get all my followers back and grow a bigger group of followers!!

In the words of Wale~


"It's something to be great, It's nothing to be famous..."

Here goes nothing ~~ My Ambition

Quote of the DAY...

Sometimes Love just isn't ENOUGH... 

Love yourself first ALWAYS,

ForeverTrue1981       

Marsha Ambrosius ~ Late Night Early Morning

              

Marsha Ambrosius ~ Late Night Early Morning... Loving that all her video's have a message and this one is a definite now & days! Once the video premiered Ms. Ambrosius tweeted:

Can I just tell you that watching this video made me realize just how much I LOVE this CD!! Not to mention Late Night Early Morning was already my call back tone! Gone girl! Definitely a stan for Ms. Ambrosius! Follow Marsha Ambrosius: HERE